Stonecutters Guild
Stonecutters Guild

Stonecutters Guild

Who controls the Springfield events...

Who controls the Springfield events scene? WE DO! WE DO!

An ancient and totally-not-secret society bringing exclusive entertainment to our members and the occasional worthy guest. We've kept the metric system down, made Steve Guttenberg a star, and rigged every Oscar night since 1957.

"Who keeps Atlantis off the maps? Who keeps the Martians under wraps? WE DO! WE DO!"


šŸ”® What We Control

  • šŸŽ­ Exclusive Events - For members and Number 908 (Homer... unfortunately)
  • šŸŽµ Sacred Concerts - Songs in the key of mystery
  • 🄳 Private Parties - Robes optional, parchment required
  • šŸ† Award Ceremonies - We decide who wins everything

šŸ“œ Sacred Parchment required at door. No Chosen Ones allowed (we learned our lesson).

Who robs cavefish of their sight? Who rigs every Oscar night? WE DO! WE DO!

Filter Events

Free entry
Online